Self Esteem

Low self-esteem complicates every aspect of an individual’s life, from employment and career to marriage and family.

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Demian Brown Toronto Psychotherapist

About the Program

  • What is low self esteem?
  • How does it impact one’s life?
  • What causes low self-esteem?
  • How can self-esteem counselling help?

People with low self-esteem hold a negative perception about their own worth and value. Without confidence in one’s value, it is difficult to face life’s challenges and to grow, or to seek out worthy partnerships in work and love and social interaction. People with low self esteem often allow themselves to be mistreated. The failures and toxic relationships that result serve to reinforce the sense of low value or worth. Those with low self-esteem are prone to negative thinking and have difficulty standing up for their own needs.
Low self-esteem can be invisible, or it can show through symptoms such as anxiety, depression, shyness, negative thinking, pessimism, addiction, compulsive behaviours, inability to move on from long past, negative incidents, self-blame, not taking credit where it’s due, avoidance of eye contact, and more. Of course, some of these signs can be indicative of other issues or simply the result of a bad day.
Various factors contribute to low self-esteem, including childhood abuse, whether emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse. Others lacked family and social supports sufficient to bolster their development. Others have simply not acted to build accomplishments or relationships of value that reflect positively in their lives- they have not reached their potential, or even tried reaching for their potential, out of fear of failure or fear of others seeing their self ascribed weaknesses. They can be corrected via psychotherapy and with a Psychotherapist’s patience, compassion and encouragement.


with extensive experience in improving self-esteem in counselling, I know that someone with low self -esteem has developed a habitual pattern of thinking, a self-defeating pattern. We build bad habits the same way we build good ones- exposing our brain circuits to repetition until it becomes automatic and then integral and usually unquestioned even when it creates problems. Negative thought patterns develop early on and feel normal, just as we have other destructive habits like smoking. Self-esteem can unfortunately not be granted- it must be worked on. This fact is a barrier to those who feel defeated and hopeless, but consider it empowering to know that you are capable of learning new skills and patterns, and unlearning patterns of self-defeat. Consider that if your self-esteem was robbed through traumas and abuse, it could feel daunting to try to create a sense of self where there is no trauma. But consider instead the implication that you have the power to create your life – you do not need the abusive parent or partner to hand back what they have taken. That is gone and acceptance of that with a positive outlook only results in having a good relationship with yourself that would otherwise be unlikely

I will help you become aware of your patterns and support you with objective observations with compassion while you work to change it. I will help you understand what successful patterns look like and you will practice those patterns until they become natural.
Your personality will not change radically- this simply means developing a new automatic response to yourself, your environment, to the past and future. The self-esteem therapy helps the client to see their strengths and successes while they forge forward with the changes in thinking that were undertaken in self-esteem therapy.
We have a choice to think and act as we want to. We can determine the things we think and do. The self-esteem therapy helps with the setting of and attainment of goals.
People with low self-esteem often feel helpless and overwhelmed and the very idea of taking charge is frightening. The guidance and perspective of a good Therapist is valuable support on this journey.


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“While in session I think, analyze, feel and assess out-loud with confidence as we go along allowing you to see my skills, my motives and judgements.”